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When your partner becomes infatuated with someone else, you won’t be the center of their attention.It’s a fact of biochemistry for which we all must brace ourselves.No matter what, you must be prepared to be nice to your partner’s partners, just as they’d better be nice to you.It is never excusable to treat your lover’s lover with hostility, nor should your partner tolerate it if someone they’re dating disrespects you in any way.Sure, it took a little easing into after years of mononormative cultural conditioning.
If you don’t want to put that effort it, that’s understandable, and a mono/mono relationship is probably your best bet. I don’t care if my partner hooks up with a babe at the party we both attend and then takes her out the next day. When you’re content with your partner being polyamorous, you’ll fully trust that they love you no matter how many other partners they have.
Mono/poly pairings aren’t exactly doomed to failure, but the inherent dynamics are much more challenging than relationships in which both parties share similar love-styles.
Not only does everyone love differently, but we all find fulfillment in different ways.
The good news is that monogamous people can enjoy fulfilling relationships with polyamorous people.
The bad news is that mono/poly relationships are not easy.Every functional mono/poly couple I’ve met understands that the poly partner’s needs can’t begin and end with one lover.